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1. The garbage man, UPS man, postman, is not
stealing our stuff.
2. I do not need to suddenly stand up
straight when lying under the coffee table.
3. I will not roll my toys behind the
fridge or sofa or under the bed.
4. I must shake the rainwater off my coat
before entering the house
5. I will not eat the cats’ food before
they eat it…or after they throw it up.
6. I will stop trying to aim for patches of clean carpet when I am about
be sick.
7. I will not throw up in the car.
8. Dead or decaying mammals, fish, or fowl
are not perfume. I will not roll on them just because I like
the way they smell
9. “Kitty litter-box crunchies,” although
tasty, are not food
10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or
napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing
11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
12. I will not chew my human’s toothbrush
and not tell her.
13. I will not chew crayons or pens,
especially not the red ones, so my owners will not think that I
am hemorrhaging.
14. When in the car, I will not insist on
having the window rolled down when it is raining outside.
15. Even though we have a doorbell, I will
not bark every time I hear one on the TV.
16. I will not steal my mom’s underwear
and dance all over the backyard with them.
17. The sofa is not a face towel…neither
are mom and dad’s laps.
18. My head does not belong in the
refrigerator.
19. I will not bite the Trooper’s hand
when he reaches in for dad’s driver’s license and registration
20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad’s
underwear when he is on the toilet.
21. To avoid having a string hanging out
of my butt, I will not eat mint flavored floss out of the
bathroom garbage.
22. I will not roll around in the dirt
after getting a bath.
23. I will not fart, belch, or sneeze at
my owner while sleeping in their bed.
24. I will not come in from outside and
immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
25. The toilet bowl is not a never-ending
water supply, and, just because the water is blue, it doesn’t
mean it’s cleaner.
26. The cat is not a squeaky toy…so when I
play with him and he makes that noise, it is usually not a good
thing.
